Judith Sills, Ph.d.

Straight Up Analysis, Straight Up Advice, Straight Up Psychology



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A Fine Romance: The Passage of Courtship From Meeting to Marriage

Lets face it, the road to marriage has never been smooth. Be prepared to tolerate that in the early states one will pursue the other more until gradually, according to Sills, there is a switch, then the relationship enters the Plateau period. After the Plateau come the Negotiation which is, hopefully, followed by Commitment. By the way, one bit of advice during Pursuit is to ask the other to do something for you which will draw him or her closer to you, such as painting a living room, repotting a plant or fixing a car. Do not borrow money! And remember you don't buy a marriage, you build it; and as frightening as the thought of marriage may be, it gives you more control of your future. For those who have been burnt in pervious marriages, I leave you with Judith Sills' advice: "If you are willing to love what is instead of what should be, you can be happy in marriage."